i am now on tumblr

hiimdom.tumblr.com

=]

...

currently reading...

with a side of....

pretty excited to finish both =]

although its mothers day 

this is a blog that goes out to my dad.

i wish he realized that the 20 years he fucked up

isnt gonna come back

yes..my parents are still together

and my dad has lived with me my whole life

but he was never there.

it was always me and my mom making excuses

as to why he wouldnt be making an appearance to family functions

and the only thing he would do for me

is put money in my wallet

and never tell me i couldnt do something

he just tried winning me over by being the good guy

he failed.

and every time him and my mom fight

he tells me how sorry he is for being a shitty father

but when everything is ok with my mom again

nothing about his actions change

im 20 now

and im over it

i could only recall one time we truly hung out

and i think its stupid that he wants to be right with me

just cause hes in the shit house with my mom

he is completely obsessed with her

and it disgust me

as sad as it is...

my mom could do something fucked up

and i would still be on her side

yes hes my father

but hes never been my dad

pointless

chillin in the library 

is never as fun as it seems

but it does seem that i get a lot more done here 

than anywhere else.

i sure could go for some coffee bean

orrr i think im gonna buy myself my own little coffee maker

which would have came more in handy 

the beginning of this semester.

im a little late. 

oooo and i figured out how to print task checklist

from my printer....again  i was too late.

on to other news

work is kicking my ASS

and so is my english paper

it sucks cause i want nothing more than to go home and sleep

but NOPE, dom has to write a paper.

(sorry for speaking in third person)

man i have to pee

and i dont want to get up and go.

i probably should since i have class in about 10 mins

annnywaayyyy

this bulletin was way too long

and way too pointless

until next time =]

finally

i love that i can finally say 

the sight of you makes me sick!!

i never thought it would 

considering i loved you more than anyone ever will

but ive finally dealt with way too much of your shit

but i will be the bigger person

and wish you nothing but good things out of life

but i still believe that karma is a bitch

and she will destroy you more than she has already...

she will break you

but i definitely will not be there to pick up the pieces

so long broken heart.

=]

&you cant blame a girl, for sticking to what she knows

Last night i saw Taking Back Sunday 

and i had that amazing feeling

when you hear music and ridiculous amounts of memories come rushing back 

and not only when i see them live 

but when their songs come on i get super emotional

(good emotional)

something about 

TBS, Brand New, Blink, SOCO

bands that made me loooovveeee music

that made me want to go out there 

and listen to bands that inspired them to do music

 i felt like those bands were always the bands i could relate to

it always seemed they knew just the right things to say!

it seemed that music was the only thing that mattered 

not living up to the latest and greatest trends

they didnt have to "rock" the bright tees 

and too tight neon pants

and if they did...we all knew it was a joke.

they didnt feel the need to prove anything

it was simply music.

i have no idea where this bulletin is going

but i felt like after last night

i needed to blog.

hahah

<3

reckless

part of growing up

is realizing you are not invincible.

you dont have superhero strength 

and bad things do happen no matter what age.

im guilty of thinking that bad things happen to people

but nothing will happen to me

im safe

i know how to drive

i know not to talk or follow strangers

and everything i do is safe and FINE!

just as i know most of you think the same

we are young adults

who wish we could party everyday

(or for some of us..we do)

but as much as we dont like to admit it...

drinking and/or drugs

lead to stupidity

my cousin was in an accident last night

because him and his friends

were drinking 

he fell and hit his head

and is now in intensive care.

the doctors said he wouldnt be the same

but luckily at around 7

he started to talk again

and is able to move his body

they still dont know everything about his condition 

but he is making progress

i love you kurtis 

and i hope this was an eye opener

not only for you 

but for everyone.

i wish it didnt have to happen like this

but i guess they were right to say God works in mysterious ways.

i love you 

you are my life!

as much as i bitch at you 

its only because i feel someone needs to watch over you

but you are a fighter

and i know you are going to be 100% better!

<3

So i've been realizing that it isnt normal

to go through as many friends as i have

and its not that we just grow apart

something major always happens

and it grows towards a hatred of eachother

and at first...i was always just like fuck it

their loss type of attitude

but now....maybe its my fault?

naw fuck it!

hahahah

<3

music mags

no idea how or why, but lately i've been getting rolling stone, spin and blender in the mail

not that im complaining

but i am COMPLETELY tired of seeing U2 on the cover

especially now that Bono feels the need to look like Billy Joe Armstrong

so annoying

that is all

<3

What Would Jane Do?

The Jane Austen Book Club

After being completely bitter towards anything romantic and even remotely cute

i decided to sit down and watch this movie (thanks to my new cable)

i love Jane Austen (although i havent read everything) but i did enjoy how this movie used

her novels as a rule book.

Yes. it has everything that comes with a love story, but with a slight twist...

each equally craves love and attention and each character is completely different

and not to mention you have some nice eye candy (zan efron look-a-like works for me anyday)

as i was watching the movie i instantly thought i must blog about this 

and all my great one liners flew out the window

cause i had to check emails and messages first (im lame)

but all in all

this movie made me want to throw in another love story

and cry about how i have no one!

who doesnt want a day like that?

but all in all

watch this movie ASAP!

<3

fhgkjfdgh

i havent blogged in a while

my bizzad.

ive been super effing busy with school

and it sucks!

but i have enjoyed staying home more

chillin with the fam

and hanging out with the few friends i do have

so all is well

but i am excited for this spring break

i need to get started on planning my partay!

and im thinking that i dont want gifts

i just want everyone to go with me to disneyland the next day!

although that may be more than a gift

but im sure you will enjoy it!

so yeah.

this was informative

and pointless all at the same time.

<3

black to the future

so the title has nothing to do with this blog

but yeah

just thought id share with you some movies i wanna see

(if you have a mac check out apple trailers, they are allll there)

the trailers at least

sorry i didnt write something about each

but i decided to post this at 130 in the morning

so yeah

check them out if you are bored one day

<3

Infatuated with love

love and its stories have always got my attention 

whether it be cheesy stories on find your true love

on a subway or in a park

or cheating men who find out too late that they love you 

but i think how kids view love is the CUTEST thing ever...

"love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." -Noelle, age 7

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you."-Karen, age 7

this ones the BEST!

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't ben over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."-Rebecca, age 8

had to post this

yes.

second blog in one day

but thanks to Vero

i was able to see this badass video

and since i was unable to figure out 

how to post a video...

just click the link

do it!

its worth it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_HXUhShhmY

gotta love the college life

i suffer from a horrible case of procrastination

and to this day i haven't found a cure

possibly shutting of the internet so i cant look at the latest john mayer twitter

or so i cant visit OMG! to read the latest gossip

and then! when it gets real bad

i feel like i make up websites to visit just because it sounds so much better than homework

not only do i have homework everyday

i dream about it when i sleep

(thats when i actually get the chance)

im living off of 2 cups of coffee a day.

I've been telling everyone that sometimes

i wish

i had more to rely on then just my brain

too bad i wasn't ridiculously tall and skinny

so i could model

or too bad i didn't have the talent (or lack of stage fright) to be an actress

even a struggling one would be nice

or too bad i wasn't some crazy prodigy 

who knew how to play every instrument

or have a good enough voice to sing!

but nope.

i have to join the millions who attend college

just so i can one day pray for a job 

that will make me enough money to survive

and that will make me happy enough to want to.

fuck my life?

i think so.

now back to the books.

i guess high school was a musical?

(ignore my lame take on words, and the lame shout out to hsm)

so i was at dees last night

and this morning before i left

we were skimming through some old mix cds

and they were basically the sound track to our 

high school lives!

so i will share with you what our songs were

and if you are one of the few that read this

tell me yours!

1. You Give Love a Bad Name- Bon Jovi

(we would randomly break out in song singing that ^)

2. Slow Down- The Academy Is..

3. The whole Blink 182 cd

(basically had karaoke every lunch with blink)

3. La La - Ashlee Simpson

4. Hands Down- Dashboard Confessional

5. Dance Dance- Fall Out Boy

6. Anything Anything- Dramarama

(always will remind me of Armida)

7.Get Low- Ying Yang Twins

(played at EVERY dance)

8. Sexy Back-Justin Timberlake

9. Mr. Brightside- The Killers

10. Everthing is Alright- Motion City Soundtrack

(top down driving to the glasshouse to "see" them)

11. Moan- Cute Is What We Aim For

12. Lying is the Most Fun a Girl can have Without Taking Her Clothes Off- P!atd

(yep that song was song on the daily)

13. So Contagious- Acceptance

14. The Middle- Jimmy Eat World

15. My Friends Over You- New Found Glory

16.I'd do Anything- Simple Plan

17. That's so You- The Rocket Summer

18. Cute Without the "e"- Taking Back sunday

19. All Hail the Heartbreaker- The Spill Canvas

20. Punk Rock Princess- Something Corporate

21. Okay I Believe You, But My Tommy Gun Don't- Brand New

So that was a lot more than i thought

but i can think of PLENTY more.

man good time.

a story

i seem to be good (or well decent)

at giving others advice

but i cant seem to figure out my own life

and my own thoughts

and my own problems.

just my luck.

final thought of the night

i pray that one day 

you decide to live outside your bubble

i hope you realize

just because people arent like you

it doesnt mean they are horrible peole

youve been so sheltered your whole life

that i think the real world 

will tear u to pieces

so i pray that you can handle it

i hope you practice what u preach

and i hope you no longer judge.

ive never judged you and the life you live

so dont judge mine.

or my friends.

differences make the world go round.

if we were all the same

life would be shitty and boring.

i hope one day

you decide to live a little.

because then, and only then can you have an opinion on my life, 

and my friends lives.

dont judge something

youve never done

or youve never been around.

i care about you 

and i always have

never once have i not been supportive

now i think its your turn.

I've never really had a problem explaining how i feel to people

but lately its becoming VERY difficult.

and today 

I've been an emotional wreck

sober house made me cry 

tyra banks made me cry 

and no...it is not what all(or well the few of you that read this) are thinking

so as i sit here

trying to figure out 

what the hell my problem is

it seems like my ipod is out to get me

i put it on shuffle

and every sad song seems to play

i know i have some happy music on there

but it hates me.

the worst part of all this is

that whenever im having a bad day 

i think its karma coming out to get me

and i sit and think over and over again 

about what i did wrong 

or who i did wrong too

and it eats away at me.

well 

i guess today is gonna be the day 

where im gonna escape for awhile

or attempt to atleast.

blah.

goodness

So as much as this book creeps me the fuck out, 

it is worth the read.

(its about a man who is lusting of "in love" with a girl whos twelve)

his descriptions are ridiculously mind-blowing

and as much as i want to throw up, i cant put the goddamn book down!

but on another not

yes, still about literature...kinda.

my lit class is a-fucking-mazing

(and no not only because i get to hear my sexy teacher

discuss freuds psychosexual theories and turn every thing from a story

into something amazingly sexual) 

but because i have never felt so inspired!

the authors we read and analyze are lovely

and the stories

are ten times more wonderful!

 i have enjoyed book since i could read,

but im beginning to look at literature sooo differently

and now i gotta pick up more of the classics

maybe minoring in lit?

hmm...

ps. phone calls that are meant to feel awkward

that feel oddly comfortable...

make me think.

=]

hmmm

ive been feeling super burned out lately 

so my brain isnt allowing me to think of something insightful to write

or worth your time to read.

but today was a good day...

although i think my emotions are beginning to run dry.

blah

Teenage Wasteland

Today i broke a promise with myself. 

and i cant say i was disappointed with my decision. 

i went to visit my high school

although i promised to never walk those hallways again.

but once i left, sadness took over.

and it took two years for me to realize how much i missed it.

in HS i did nothing but bitch and complain about wanting to be free

i didnt want to have to listen to anyone

i was tired of the fucking dress code

and i was sick of always being in trouble.

but a teacher was able to remind me how i was never in school

and as she was talking about days in class 

days that i was unable to remember

because i was either mentally gone, or physically gone.

i missed out on some good times.

but it was also nice to remember all the great times.

my best friend coming out of high school 

was able to reminisce with me.

we walked the halls recognizing that everything has changed

it had only been two years, and everything was different.

and it wasn't just the school...it was us.

her and i will never be the same kids we were in high school

and i think it saddened both of us...

although we did have some laughs at the school today

the ride home was quiet (at first, we cant shut up for too long) 

knowing that this is the last year we are officially teenagers, 

hit us hard.

its a sad time when you realize your adolescence will never come back.

hmmm

"Healing, is when you don't feel a thing"

after having a pretty intense dream

where yet again i was accompanied by someone who seems to be haunting me.

and yes...hes still alive.

i dont know what it is...but it seems my "feelings"

do nothing but get in the way...

even when i try my hardest to let go

and get rid of them...

they haunt my life.

i dont know what to do anymore

the only thing that seems perfectly logical

is to simply not FEEL.

the only emotion i want to keep

is laughter...

i dont want any personal feelings about anyone

if you dont feel, you wont get hurt right?

so plan B..

have everything mean nothing...

wish me luck.

The Way I See It #17

"The world burst at the seams

with people ready to tell you you're not good enough.

On occasion, some may be correct. 

But do not do their work for them.

Seek any job; ask anyone out; pursue any goal.

Don't take it personally when they say "no"-

they may not be smart enough to say "yes"."

Who wouldve thought that a quote on a starbucks cup

would hold so much meaning.

i dont think it needs any explanation

so just take it in 

and enjoy it

=]

pressure..

today as definitely been as shitty as the come 

and the worse part...i have no one to talk too

or well ill rephrase that...

i dont want to talk.

im sick of talking about things that never change

and im tired of hearing everything will be alright

school is stressing me out

money is stressing me out 

my family is going to shit

and im slipping further and further away from the few friends i do have.

although last night and friday 

got my mind off a lot

cause karla and her family are the greatest to be around...

but i do miss that friend that made me forget everything

each and every day.

although i still feel like i did nothing wrong...

i do wish i could take it back...

i wish we could both take a lot of things back

but we cant.

gah...

somehow everythings gonna fall 

right into place." right?

...

"this life is way to short

to get caught up in all this stuff"

new words to live by.

starting

.

.

.

.

.

.

NOW

i think i developed a problem

about 20 minutes ago i watched what i have heard to be one of the saddest chick flicks, P.S. I Love You, and surprisingly...i didnt shed one tear, and didnt feel my heart heavy once. 

this may not come as a surprise to most of you, or you may  simply not care. but coming from someone who does nothing but watch romantic comedies, read romantic novels, and listen to songs that slowly kill you inside, im surprised...

ive never wanted to consider myself bitter, but im beginning to think that is the problem. never in my life have a been more disgusted at the sight of a happy couple. and yes i still listen to my share of love songs, but now i feel a different emotion rather than thoughts of suicide or that hopefulness of my very own fairy tale ending. but unfortunately i am unable to express that emotion via blog.

im not sure if i should consider it exactly a bad thing to have a shield blocking you from the happiness that anything love related should give you, or if its finally a sign to let me know its not the only thing to base your life around and look forward too.

and maybe you are thinking "well shes obviously never been in love." false.

i think i have been TOO in love for anyones own good. even myself.

i had what i thought to be the best thing in my life as a boyfriend...and even when it ended a friend, and now i dont even have that.

and to basically put the cherry on top...

i let my guard down, finally, with someone i thought worthy, and that turned to shit.

(i apologize to everyone who has heard this all before) 

anywayyy this obviously has no direction

and isnt making much sense

(bare with me, its 3 in the morning)

but i have come to a conclusion, romantic comedies do allow me to reminisce..

im just not sure if its for the best.

guess its time to throw out those mix tape and lovey dovey novels.

and officially deleting P.S. I Love You off the tivo.

=]

good to know NFG keeps it real

so i was on absolutepunk.net which i decided to visit after discussing 

its lack in "real" music news...but along with something posted about 

the "famous" Jefree Star...there was a comment from Jordan of New Found Glory

which i was definitely excited to read...

"I think everyone was in a better place during this record because every record

we write is about things that are happening with each other and our personal lives... 

we wanted to go in there and write a super, catchy, fun record that's heavy and upbeat

and songs that we can play live... i think this record was really written for our fans

and bringing them back to what made them like New Found Glory to begin with."

well it is good to know that some band are continuing to keep it real

and make music that they are known to be amazing at..and not conforming to the trends

sorry that i seem to be ranting a little more than usual

guess keeping up in the music world

is an obsession at the moment...ill get over it eventually

babies, breakups, bromances!

so before we get to ahead of ourselves, this isn't a blog expressing my love for Fall Out Boy, or even my hate for them (which sadly is growing each and every day).  And for the pic on the side, there were none for the blender article where Pete wasn't front and center...surprised? Not at all. I also decided to blog about this after having about a hour long discussion on the most recent article written about FOB or should I say pete Wentz and his no talent wife (yes that was mean, but i did once jump out of the car and hopped a fence to not miss Ashlee Simpson perform at the brea mall) so for a previous fan, I can say that she has went to shit. sorry. 

Anywaaaay back to the point of this article. The blender article was of course well written, but just like every other FOB article, it was about Pete with a few feedback from the other band members, that sadly most have no idea exist. 

Joe Trohman (FOB guitarist) explained he feels left out...

"it does get frustrating not being able to contribute. I mean to be labeled a background guy, someone who's just along for the ride-its hard. i started Fall Out Boy you know?"

Andy Hurley (drummer) was only quoted talking about his love for the packers and to say he enjoys his simple life. From the way the article described it, he plays drums and goes home to his "boca burgers and comics."  Atleast he's not feeling left out, or just has a good way of hiding it.

One thing I had heard nothing about, that did surprise me in the article was that Patrick did quit the band on the last tour. He went on to describe Pete as not a "control freak but very controlling." Pete had gone on to make decisions behind not only Stumps back, but the whole band. Stump had his things together and had stuff written to go solo and was planning to leave the band after the tour. Sadly they reconciled. I would have much rather heard Patrick's solo project then the new FOB album. it drives me INSANE to see and well hear the talent that Patrick has, and to have to see him as backup to the tabloid friendly Wentz.  Yes, Patrick has been quoted explaining that he doesn't enjoy the limelight and even seems slightly insecure about himself, but it doesn't mean he shouldn't be praised. He has been asked to produce with Lil' wayne and even Jay-Z, but always finds an excuse to back down. 

"I'm just a fat white dude from Glenview, Illnois. As a hip-hop fan, i don't want me doing hip-hop" c'mon Patrick...give yourself credit.

After a little time to talk about Patrick (mind you the article gives him about 2 paragraphs out of 4 pages) it goes on to talk about how Pete considers himself a DILF. Gross. And goes into to his weird named child and his home life. P.S. we don't give a fuck!

So now that I vented a little about Wentz and I took up a lot of space, and if your reading this, your time. i want to end on the BEST paragraph of this whole article...

"It's not hard to find reasons to make fun of Wentz. His swooping bangs and his disproportionately large head make him look disturbingly like a grown-up version of a Garbage Pail Kid. He wears girls' jeans and toils in a genre known for its interest in cosmetics than for its contributions to the pop music canon. His lyrics are more self-indulgent than a luxury-spa retreat. Pictures of his penis have wound up on the internet. He plays the bass-and not very well"

ill end on that note. =]

 

i need you defenseless

"you see, its never been enough 

to just leave or give up

but its never good enough 

to feel right"

i dont feel like really explaining...

but at this point, those words hold A LOT of meaning. 

=/