this may not come as a surprise to most of you, or you may simply not care. but coming from someone who does nothing but watch romantic comedies, read romantic novels, and listen to songs that slowly kill you inside, im surprised...
ive never wanted to consider myself bitter, but im beginning to think that is the problem. never in my life have a been more disgusted at the sight of a happy couple. and yes i still listen to my share of love songs, but now i feel a different emotion rather than thoughts of suicide or that hopefulness of my very own fairy tale ending. but unfortunately i am unable to express that emotion via blog.
im not sure if i should consider it exactly a bad thing to have a shield blocking you from the happiness that anything love related should give you, or if its finally a sign to let me know its not the only thing to base your life around and look forward too.
and maybe you are thinking "well shes obviously never been in love." false.
i think i have been TOO in love for anyones own good. even myself.
i had what i thought to be the best thing in my life as a boyfriend...and even when it ended a friend, and now i dont even have that.
and to basically put the cherry on top...
i let my guard down, finally, with someone i thought worthy, and that turned to shit.
(i apologize to everyone who has heard this all before)
anywayyy this obviously has no direction
and isnt making much sense
(bare with me, its 3 in the morning)
but i have come to a conclusion, romantic comedies do allow me to reminisce..
im just not sure if its for the best.
guess its time to throw out those mix tape and lovey dovey novels.
and officially deleting P.S. I Love You off the tivo.
=]
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